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LET ME OPEN THIS MASTURBATORY BITCH FEST BY TELLING YOU THAT FIRST AND FOREMOST YOU SHOULD CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY THAT I DID NOT LET STRIDER ORGANIZE THIS STUPID LITTLE BLURB SECTION FOR ME LIKE HE OH SO DESPERATELY WANTED TO.

SECONDLY, LET ME TELL YOU THAT YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY KEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS AS LOW AS CONCEIVABLY POSSIBLE FOR YOUR SPECIES, BECAUSE I PROMISE NEITHER ENTERTAINMENT NOR AGREEABLE SOCIOPOLITICAL OPINIONS. BUMMER.

THIRDLY, YOU'RE NOT A HERO FOR POLICING HOW PEOPLE LIVE THEIR LIVES, YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER COG IN THE IMPERIAL MACHINE CHUGGING AWAY UNTIL THE INEVITABLE HEAT DEATH OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE WHEREIN EXISTENCE AS WE KNOW IT GETS FED UP WITH YOUR WHINING AND RIPS ITSELF APART AT THE SEAMS TO RELIEVE ITSELF OF THE CHUTE-CHAFFING AGGRAVATION OF HOSTING A HIVEMIND OF SCREECHING MORONS.